Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hail Mary

Tonight we had our regular family adoration hour.  Drake and I handled things as per usual by each taking Thomas for 30 minutes so that we're each guaranteed at least 30 minutes to pray.  It's worked out quite well for the past several months, and often we get more than a half hour since Thomas seems to be pretty content to play with the toys we bring for him.  In any case, my "Thomas time" was different tonight.  He started to get a bit antsy, so I brought him over to a picture hanging in the adoration chapel.

For a visual image, click here

Literally the moment his eyes met hers, he smiled one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen.  And then he started to smile up at her for a few seconds, cuddle his face into my shoulder, and repeat this cycle over and over again.  He was so in awe of her, and it made me so very aware of God's presence in that moment.  He then started looking at other things in the chapel, so we retreated from the picture for a while.  We later returned, and again Thomas was overjoyed upon seeing Mary.  This time he started to look at the picture and then up at the monstrance.  This cycle, too, repeated itself again and again.

Thomas in his 9 months of life outside of the womb has taught me so much about life, love, and beauty.  Tonight he continued to teach me, and the lesson pointed me to Heaven in a way that differed from anything else.  I witnessed his complete joy upon spending a moment with our Mother.  I saw his eagerness to return to Her after spending some time away.  I observed the delight he so openly showed each time he looked at her.

And I could not help but examine my relationship with Mary.  I thought about how often I only turn to her in times of distress and despair.  My tendency is to plead for her intercession in the moment I need help...but then it seems that our conversation typically ceases.  As Catholics, we don't worship Mary, but we do honor her.  And rather than fostering this relationship as I would with a good friend, it tends to be on a more "as needed" basis...my need, that is.  You might be curious as to why this relationship is even worth my time.  In the midst of the busyness that is motherhood and family life, why would I want to intentionally nurture this relationship?

Well, I'll tell you.

There are some more obvious reasons as to why I might want to deepen this friendship.  Mary was a wife (check), a mother (check), and she loved our Lord (check).  She took care of the home, raised a child, cooked, cleaned.  But one thing that all too often differs from my own life to date is that Mary said, "yes."  She said "yes" even though she was unsure.  She said "yes" despite her fears, questions, and humanity.  She said "yes" because she was directly told by an angel what the will of God was for her.  This was also called her fiat, and this one agreement to comply with God's desire for her changed the course of humanity.

I nearly always desire my will over that of God.  I'm stubborn, set in my ways, selfish, and seek comforts.  There are infinite numbers of ways in which I say "no" to God and "yes" to myself.  And I've noticed that being around faithful people helps make me a better Catholic.  It helps me to (slowly but surely) unite myself more closely to Jesus and finally come around to seeing that His will for me is more intensely beautiful than anything I could wish for myself...if only I would say "yes."    

One of my Advent goals: to spend time with Mary each day to better prepare my heart for the birth of her Son on Christmas.

Help keep me accountable, would you? 

1 comment:

  1. I bet Thomas loved seeing Mary so much because he sees so much of our Blessed Mother in you. I know I see a whole ton of her in you.

    I, also, only seem to turn to Mary in time of need. Something that I've noticed more since I've been down here is how relate-able Mary is on a daily basis. She had daily trials, struggles, and joys, just like we do. Since being at Ave I've seen more and more how Mary can truly be a friend to us, and not just a Mother. I'm trying to work on turning to her in times of joy, also. I think it is no coincidence that I'm learning all this now, since I'm living in a town named after our Blessed Mother.

    I know as my relationship with Mary grows, she will only lead me closer to her Son, like all good friends are supposed to do. :)

    Holy Mary, Mother of God... Pray for us!

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