I absolutely loved this article.  I heard it on NPR when it aired and was thrilled to find it in written form. 

Although these woman have a vocational calling that differs greatly from my own, I am in complete awe of them.  The surrender, utmost love and devotion they have for our Lord inspires me and challenges me to open myself more fully to Him.

Happy reading!

Sunday Brunch

We love Sunday brunch. It has been a tradition since we have been married to celebrate our Lord's day by splurging a little bit, waiting a little longer to eat (usually after mass and cooking), and feasting. We have gone through stages: the frittata stage, omelet stage, gallo pinto stage, baked French toast stage, muffins, yogurt , and fruit stage...no matter what, we enjoy experimenting and sharing a meal together and with friends and family when possible.

Anyone who has kept up with our story knows that we are in a different kind of stage. We moved, I started school and part-time work, and we are preparing for our second child. Life is blessed, but our morale waxes and wanes. Lately, especially, it has waned. The day-in and day-out grind of work, serving Thomas and each other has led to a multi-layered exhaustion. Yesterday, it seemed like both of us woke up after an epic battle. We limped out of bed, making it barely to the couch. We dragged ourselves through the morning, fulfilling obligations of studying and serving our family. We had the joie de vivre of a paper clip (one of those regular metal kinds) and were ready to break. Pondering how we are going to make it through these next two months (until Christmas break), we decided that we needed to celebrate life more often. Our lives are so routined and packed with to-dos, and rightfully so. Nonetheless, we have felt entrapped by the mundane yet tenacious daily schedule, which has been gradually gnawing at our will to persist, much less to celebrate.

But celebrate we will. We brought back brunch today, and we celebrated: health, opportunity, love, family and friends. We are going to celebrate something at least once a week--some ideas we had were saints we particularly admire, church feast days, or something random. Food appears to be one obvious way to celebrate, but we are going to try other things too, like maybe practicing a special devotion on that day. Of course, adding celebration to our life does not undermine the gravity of keeping up with what we need to do to survive this stage in life. It does however remind us that we are children of God, heirs of life eternal, and we are invited to find joy in the Resurrection. Already today, the mood is lighter in our house (also due to opening up all the windows in our kitchen, S.T.). We have a lot to do today, but, with the enthusiasm with which Thomas says "truck," we will celebrate.

counting our blessings

I had a great confession last night with the priest at our new parish, and I was reminded of something critical: the need to keep our blessings at the forefront of my mind.  I personally have to make a very intentional effort to remind myself of how blessed I am in the midst of heavy crosses.  So I'm listing a few for my own sake.

• Drake and I have a ridiculously strong marriage - I'd be completely lost without him.  Being married to the person with whom I converse most easily and honestly, the person who understands me to my core, and the one who desires the holiness of our family above all else is a complete gift from God.
• We've been blessed with two beautiful children - Thomas fills our lives with joy, and we cannot contain the excitement we feel over meeting our daughter in a few short weeks.
• We have a nice place to live, a solid parish, and live near other family support.
• We have food on the table, clothes on our back (and in our closet!), and have been blessed by the generosity of family and friends.
• We have access to medical care and have been abundantly blessed by the competence and kindness of our new OB office in particular.
• We got a great deal on a van and live near the train station, both of which allow our family to get to the places we need to be.
• Drake feels a great deal of peace about his academic program; we both feel tremendous peace about taking this next step for our family.

Father Tom also gave me an effective visual last night in the confessional.  He talked to me about the story of Peter's attempt to walk on water to go meet his Lord.  Peter was thrilled to see Jesus and began to make his way to Him...but then he got lost in his own mind and convinced himself that it didn't make sense for him (Peter) to be walking on water...that's when he began to drown.  When Peter fixed his gaze, his attention, his complete focus on Jesus, that was when walking on water was possible.

Receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation last night reaffirmed my conviction that God desires to sanctify our family through the joys and crosses of this new journey, one big transition that is filled with smaller transitions.  Holy Family, pray for us!

PS. I apologize for the recent lag time in my blogging, though I'm confident that you've found other ways to spend your time :)

some apologetics assistance needed...

I have quite a love/hate relationship with Facebook - I've gone on several "FB fasts," canceled my account on numerous occasions, etc.  I think it can serve a good purpose when used prudently and not as a means to "be in the know" about people with whom one never communicates with aside from exchanging Facebook status changes on the homepage.  But, I digress. 

Within the last week, there have been two bold claims made by two individuals, both of whom I would consider a friend (more than simply a "Facebook friend").  These claims were essentially the same, stating that the Roman Catholic Church needs to get with the times and start ordaining women.

Obviously this isn't the first time that people have expressed this view.  But as a committed Roman Catholic who loves and embraces the Magesterium, this is clearly a sentiment that I do not uphold.  Not even a little bit.  Nope.  Not at all.

And there are so many reasons, but a lesson in apologetics is not the reason for my post.  I do, however, need advice as to how to best serve people who make these claims on Facebook.  I feel like I have a few options:

1. Do/say nothing.  Pray for them, but take no more action than that.
2. Send them a link to some solid apologetics in text or podcast format, thus potentially starting (or continuing?) an open-forum debate on their profile page.
3. Send them a FB message or email (something sent only to the person making the claim) about why their view is flawed.  The intention here is not to be seen as better or holier than them but rather to plant a seed rooted in the fullness of the Truth.

When it comes down to it, I want to DO something.  I'm so sick of Church bashing, particularly among people who claim to be Catholic.  But on things like Facebook, I don't know how far I should go in terms of apologetics.  I want to be charitable without sugar-coating anything.  It's easy to paint a picture of our Lord as a peacemaker - someone who simply wanted everyone to get along, love each other, etc.  But Jesus was so much more than that, desiring nothing but our sanctity and bringing us closer to the Truth.  So how the heck do I convey that on Facebook?

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Please give me some ideas! 

Holy Family, Pray for us!

Today is the feast of the Holy Family . They are our family's patrons. We end each prayer with an intercession prayer to the Holy Family, so naturally, yesterday, when we were at vigil mass and we discovered that it was our family's patron day, we REJOICED! Of course, we are still in the Christmas season, so there is plenty about which to rejoice, but here is a list of fun things we have done in order to celebrate our patron:

• Go to mass
• Pray the liturgy of the hours
• Have special foods/drinks (try an "ailing turkey"--it's a hit with stay at home moms!) such as that, and tonight we are having some peppermint schnapps and macaroons while watching The Two Towers
• Take a nap
• Have fun tickle time with Thomas
• Rest together
• Have a nice meal
  
• Find little ways to serve each other like doing simple chores and getting little presents

I'm sure there is more we could do to celebrate our patrons. Looking at that list, I feel good that those are simple things that we strive to do often, like tickle time with Thomas, have nice meals together (even if they are cupboard-cleaners!), and find little ways to serve each other.

Thank you for your prayers, patrons!

Holy family, pray for us!

Mary Mother of God, Pray for Us!

Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception and is a big celebration in the Catholic Church!  If you have some time today, I'd recommend this article for your reading pleasure.

Hail Mary

Tonight we had our regular family adoration hour.  Drake and I handled things as per usual by each taking Thomas for 30 minutes so that we're each guaranteed at least 30 minutes to pray.  It's worked out quite well for the past several months, and often we get more than a half hour since Thomas seems to be pretty content to play with the toys we bring for him.  In any case, my "Thomas time" was different tonight.  He started to get a bit antsy, so I brought him over to a picture hanging in the adoration chapel.

For a visual image, click here

Literally the moment his eyes met hers, he smiled one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen.  And then he started to smile up at her for a few seconds, cuddle his face into my shoulder, and repeat this cycle over and over again.  He was so in awe of her, and it made me so very aware of God's presence in that moment.  He then started looking at other things in the chapel, so we retreated from the picture for a while.  We later returned, and again Thomas was overjoyed upon seeing Mary.  This time he started to look at the picture and then up at the monstrance.  This cycle, too, repeated itself again and again.

Thomas in his 9 months of life outside of the womb has taught me so much about life, love, and beauty.  Tonight he continued to teach me, and the lesson pointed me to Heaven in a way that differed from anything else.  I witnessed his complete joy upon spending a moment with our Mother.  I saw his eagerness to return to Her after spending some time away.  I observed the delight he so openly showed each time he looked at her.

And I could not help but examine my relationship with Mary.  I thought about how often I only turn to her in times of distress and despair.  My tendency is to plead for her intercession in the moment I need help...but then it seems that our conversation typically ceases.  As Catholics, we don't worship Mary, but we do honor her.  And rather than fostering this relationship as I would with a good friend, it tends to be on a more "as needed" basis...my need, that is.  You might be curious as to why this relationship is even worth my time.  In the midst of the busyness that is motherhood and family life, why would I want to intentionally nurture this relationship?

Well, I'll tell you.

There are some more obvious reasons as to why I might want to deepen this friendship.  Mary was a wife (check), a mother (check), and she loved our Lord (check).  She took care of the home, raised a child, cooked, cleaned.  But one thing that all too often differs from my own life to date is that Mary said, "yes."  She said "yes" even though she was unsure.  She said "yes" despite her fears, questions, and humanity.  She said "yes" because she was directly told by an angel what the will of God was for her.  This was also called her fiat, and this one agreement to comply with God's desire for her changed the course of humanity.

I nearly always desire my will over that of God.  I'm stubborn, set in my ways, selfish, and seek comforts.  There are infinite numbers of ways in which I say "no" to God and "yes" to myself.  And I've noticed that being around faithful people helps make me a better Catholic.  It helps me to (slowly but surely) unite myself more closely to Jesus and finally come around to seeing that His will for me is more intensely beautiful than anything I could wish for myself...if only I would say "yes."    

One of my Advent goals: to spend time with Mary each day to better prepare my heart for the birth of her Son on Christmas.

Help keep me accountable, would you? 

resting in my Father's arms

for some reason, Adoration tends to bring out the God the Father connection to me. grace and prayer connect me to my Father in Heaven; this connection enlightens me as a father and as a son.

tonight at Adoration, for a brief moment, i held thomas in the crook of my arm as he chewed on a cup. at that moment, we were both basking in our Father's care--i provided to him warmth, protection, safety, and love. simultaneously, i was reminded of our Father's similar loving touch, those grace-filled moments during which life makes complete sense and feels good. [praise God for having received good catechism enough to be aware of the infinite depth of the faith, much deeper than a "feeling" or "emotional bond" between me and the cosmos...that is for a different post.]

in previous Adoration experiences with thomas, i have been given similar graces upon observing fatherhood and Fatherhood. one observation is that i (lauren and i) provide everything for thomas-- his food, his clothes, his shelter, the love he receives, and, ultimately, his life. recognizing all i provide for thomas reminds me of the infinite generosity of our Lord. our Lord provides at the most basic level our lives. without our Lord's loving, generous gift of life, we would not be here. similarly, without our family's commitment to be open to life, thomas would not exist. i give thomas love, but our Lord offers His Love; more importantly, he has offered for us an invitation to the divine life through His Son, and consequently through His Church. i give thomas an apartment, and a room of his own. our Lord gives us graces to build virtues through His Sacraments to protect us from evil and bring us closer to Himself.

we love dressing thomas in fun clothes. let me be more clear: lauren absolutely can't get enough of dressing thomas in fun clothes. i kind of enjoy taking pictures of them. similarly, through grace we are given virtues like faith. i love in Ephesians when paul talks about clothing ourselves in faith--i believe the line is "put on the armor of Christ." this imagery reminds me of the spiritual battle in which we are taking part, and the importance of "gearing up." i am going to wear a cup when i play baseball: of course i'm going to wear something when engaging in spiritual warfare. that all comes down to prayer i suppose (a topic to be covered another time).

lauren and i feed thomas food--lately he has tried and enjoyed graham crackers and potatoes (no--not at the same time!). our Lord gives us spiritual food.

when i was in choir in high school, we had to do sight-reading exercises. we all hated these exercises as they diverted our attention from singing cool songs in parts and had to be sung in boring solfege. my choir director informed us we were "eating our vegetables." just like we eat vegetables to improve and maintain our health, so we sight-read to improve and maintain our musical abilities.

so it is with faith. every day, God gives us several "vegetable-eating" moments. Deuteronomy 30 talks about a choice we have each day, light or darkness, life or death: the writer urges: "choose life so that you and your descendants might live." more practically, we are given several opportunities throughout each day to choose life. "life" might be something more quantifiable like patience, understanding, right-judgment. read up on the fruits/gifts of the Holy Spirit and you might get the gist. when we practice virtues such as courage and hope, we are eating our spiritual food.

more importantly, God gives us His Son in the Eucharist each day. each day, we have an opportunity to partake in the Heavenly Banquet. more on the Eucharist in another post.

what a beautiful blessing to be given insights into Fatherhood, just by observing fatherhood. praise God!

Retreat Weekend...

So we're doing something this weekend that we've been wanting to do for a long time...we're going on an informal family retreat! Now, to be clear, we're not actually "going" anywhere. We're going to stay here in Urbana. We are simply going to take extra time this weekend for prayer, for receiving the sacraments (namely Confession and the Eucharist), and for nourishing our Catholic family life. And, as with any good retreat, we've got some tasty meals and snacks planned too :). So please pray for us if you think of it! Enjoy your weekend!