This past Friday, Drake and I went on a date...a real date! It's hard to describe how much we needed this time out together to shift the focus from life decisions we're currently discerning to simply relishing in the gift of our marriage and relationship with one another. Heck, we even got all dolled up for the occasion (sorry, I know this would be a good place for a photo - but sadly we didn't take any).
We started our evening by going to a local restaurant; The Bread Company was amazing. For all of you Champaign-Urbana folks, I would highly recommend it. We shared an appetizer, pasta dish, meat entree, salad, and dessert and realized that we haven't had a meal that nice in a restaurant since our honeymoon in Costa Rica. After two hours of laughing, conversing, and savoring, we went a few store fronts down to The Canopy Club. We had heard about a comedian who was going to be there and decided to check it out. Unfortunately he didn't exactly live up to the hype, but the acoustic music beforehand was a nice surprise. And we were surprised to find out that we were part of a Jewish celebration called Purim; people were continually shouting, "Happy Purim!" For two devoted Catholics, this wasn't necessarily a celebration that we planned on commemorating, but we did have fun nonetheless.
A trip to Borders was our final outing for the evening - we had a few gift cards that we'd be itching to spend, so we decided on three books to add to our collection. Thankfully I married a decisive man who was able to make decisions within the 15 minutes that we had before the store closed. I'm currently reading Hail Holy Queen by Scott Hahn, and Drake has started a book on apologetics by Peter Kreeft.
One thing we've learned since becoming parents is that we have to be much more intentional about spending time as a couple. With decisions and life events constantly vying for our attention, we're recognizing that our marriage needs just as much (if not more) time and energy devoted to it. What a gift to relish in the gift of one another!
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, March 1, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
For Better, For Worse
Thanks to some of my mommy blog reading, I stumbled upon a free subscription to a magazine called American Baby. While I don't adhere to much of what it suggests, I always like gleaning insight about various parenting topics. One arrived in the mail a few weeks ago, and I started reading an article entitled "For Better, For Worse." It's about keeping the romance alive in one's marriage after a baby is born. Parenting magazines are often filled with this type of advice-giving, but one snippet in particular struck me. "Chances are, having a baby won't bring you closer. Luckily, you and your spouse can do that on your own. How? By turning new-baby challenges into opportunities to strengthen your marriage."
I think almost every parent would agree that parenting challenges a person in ways that nothing else can. At least that's one thing I've found to be true in my own experience. But blatantly stating that the odds are against you as far as having a strong marriage as a result of bringing a new life into the world? Not only does this depict the child as a burden, but it also undermines the strength of the marriage before the baby's arrival.
Clearly there are differences in how a couple can spend their time together when they become parents - maybe they aren't able to go out on as many dates as they used to (though date nights in are a great runner-up), or perhaps the sleepless nights leave couples feeling at odds due to tiredness. Parents might feel differently about child rearing, thus creating some amount of (often temporary) conflict. But I would hope these situations do not define marriage but rather give a couple a new way of growing together, thus bringing them closer together than ever before. The nine month gestational period gives some nice preparation time, and while no one can be prepared for every little thing, parents certainly can talk through the big discussion topics regarding their baby.
But then again, perhaps I'm in the minority on this. It's supreme honor to share in parenting with Drake, and I firmly believe that our marriage is stronger because of our openness to life. Through all the bed rest, hospital stays, NICU emotional rollercoaster, and throughout Thomas' first year, we've grown closer than ever before. Our communication is more open and honest, we're more intentional about spending time as a couple, and our time management has improved drastically (though we still have a long way to go). We're clear about our needs, our struggles, our joys...and we are able to witness daily the miracle of life before our eyes. What on this earth could be better than that?
I think almost every parent would agree that parenting challenges a person in ways that nothing else can. At least that's one thing I've found to be true in my own experience. But blatantly stating that the odds are against you as far as having a strong marriage as a result of bringing a new life into the world? Not only does this depict the child as a burden, but it also undermines the strength of the marriage before the baby's arrival.
Clearly there are differences in how a couple can spend their time together when they become parents - maybe they aren't able to go out on as many dates as they used to (though date nights in are a great runner-up), or perhaps the sleepless nights leave couples feeling at odds due to tiredness. Parents might feel differently about child rearing, thus creating some amount of (often temporary) conflict. But I would hope these situations do not define marriage but rather give a couple a new way of growing together, thus bringing them closer together than ever before. The nine month gestational period gives some nice preparation time, and while no one can be prepared for every little thing, parents certainly can talk through the big discussion topics regarding their baby.
But then again, perhaps I'm in the minority on this. It's supreme honor to share in parenting with Drake, and I firmly believe that our marriage is stronger because of our openness to life. Through all the bed rest, hospital stays, NICU emotional rollercoaster, and throughout Thomas' first year, we've grown closer than ever before. Our communication is more open and honest, we're more intentional about spending time as a couple, and our time management has improved drastically (though we still have a long way to go). We're clear about our needs, our struggles, our joys...and we are able to witness daily the miracle of life before our eyes. What on this earth could be better than that?
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