Introspective

Sometimes I find myself worrying.  Worrying that Thomas might be behind developmentally for the first few years because of his early entry into the world.  Worrying that I'm not doing things right as a parent.  Worrying about the fact that decisions I make might affect Thomas negatively.  Parenting is an incredible gift and a terrifying adventure.  And of course I know that this isn't just "I."  It's Drake and I, but it's also the Heavenly Host and I...and being a parent has taught me to rely more fully on the angels and saints, particularly in times of difficulty, frustration, and confusion.

When Thomas was born, an occupational therapist did some tests and found that Thomas was actually right on track despite missing out on 6 weeks of womb time.  But in the same breath she mentioned that he might be behind for the first two years of his life.  Up to this point, I've felt that Thomas was pretty much on target...he's been hitting milestones as he should be.  But as he approaches 9 months of age, I'm worried that he's not crawling.  He pushes up on his arms with no problem, but he seems to drag his butt on the ground instead of lifting it in the air.  I also feel like he's sometimes quick to give up when he's frustrated or can't get to where he'd like to go.  It's really hard as a parent...hard not only to see my son struggle but also hard to know exactly how to help him in a way that will enable him to thrive versus depend on things to be done for him, such as my moving a toy closer so that he doesn't need to reach or scoot toward it.  It's also humbling to see some 6 month olds at the library crawling around.  Sometimes it doesn't seem fair because I, like every parent, want the best for my child.  We parents all want our children to be ahead of the curve or at least be keeping up.

I've talked to many parents who have said their children were late crawlers...not crawling until 9 or 10 months, and some not really even ever getting up onto their knees at all.  One friend has a husband in medical school who recently learned that babies are hard-wired to reach milestones at a certain time so there's not a lot that parents can do to encourage it to happen any earlier.  I take some consolation in that.  But it admittedly doesn't make it any easier.  I don't want to fall back on the "excuse" that he's a preemie, though that is the reality of the situation.  Gestationally, Thomas is 7 1/2 months old with his chronological age being nearly 9 months.  And I realize that he's still within the "normal" limits for crawling.  And you know, maybe I need to worry much less about what other people think and focus more on areas in which Thomas is excelling.  With that said, I'm going to list some of the many incredible things about my son:

• He is learning sign language really well - his face lights up when he sees signs for milk, eat, more, up, bath, all done, cereal, cracker, change, etc.  It's amazing to be able to communicate with him like this.
• He sits up beautifully and plays independently.  He's starting to be able to interact a lot more with Drake and I.
• This kid has the best belly laughs I've ever heard...it warms my heart to hear him crack up over silly things Drake and I do, not to mention the excitement that ensues over tickle time.
  
• He's been wanting to put the spoon in his mouth by himself, and he has excellent aim!  He's been loving all sorts of different foods and has a new love for graham crackers.
• He loves playing in his Jumperoo and Exersaucer.
• He does a great job locating sounds and is very curious and alert.
• He has an insanely cute reaction upon seeing a picture of himself...you have to see it to believe it.
• He is cooing and babbling all the time...and buzzing his lips is a new favorite activity.
• He's quite the little swimmer!
  
• He recognizes the first few words to some of his favorite songs, including Wheels on the Bus, Patty Cake, and Itsy Bitsy Spider.
• He easily transfers toys from one hand to the other and will even use both hands to support heavier toys.
  
• He's recently started giving kisses...I love it so much that I typically leave the sloppy spot on my cheek until it dries instead of wiping it off.
• His joyful personality is second to none.  

One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a parent is the importance of embracing the present moment and taking life one day at a time.  Time to relish in the now instead of worrying about the future.