I'm taking a long break from blogging. And rather than just delete my blog all together, I'll explain myself.
I've decided that I need to get a lot of things in my life together, and, for me, that means I need to do some "tearing down" and work my way back up. I need to be very intentional about the ways I spend my time, ensuring that it is spent in service to my vocation. While I recognize that things like blogging, reading other blogs, being connected through social networks like Facebook, etc can, in a sense, be a way that moms in particular can more fully live out their vocation, I also know that these things have recently been having adverse effects on me personally.
When I choose to log in to my Facebook account, I'm bombarded by a world of status updates, relationship changes, newly uploaded photos, and I'm instantly sucked in. Even though I haven't done much to foster true relationships with "friends," I am suddenly "in the know" (to some small extent) about their lives. Once in a while I'll take time to comment or message or (much less frequently) pray for the person about whom I'm reading. But let's face it, most of the time it turns me into a busy body and leaves me with a false sense of closeness with others.
When I choose to read other blogs I can't help but feel inadequate about my own blogging (or lack thereof). Right now, it doesn't even matter what the topic might be on someone's particular blog. The fact that they were able to find time to blog in the first place makes me feel like I don't have my act together enough to dedicate time to writing, posting photos of the kids, reading and reflecting on various topics.
I recognize that I'm putting a great deal of pressure on myself to be perfect in most (if not every) aspect of my life. I could write a book (probably a whole series) about my struggles with perfectionism, so instead I'll simply ask you to pray for me in this specific regard.
I simply need to disconnect for a while - I need to spend more time in prayer, in self reflection, in taking time to truly listen to the Lord. I'll still check my email at least once a day, and I'll have my phone around, too. But I'm taking a much-needed media fast of sorts for an undetermined amount of time, and I'm praying that it might bear fruit in my own life and consequently in the life of my family and those around me. I'll pray for you and for your intentions, friends!