For Better, For Worse

Thanks to some of my mommy blog reading, I stumbled upon a free subscription to a magazine called American Baby.  While I don't adhere to much of what it suggests, I always like gleaning insight about various parenting topics.  One arrived in the mail a few weeks ago, and I started reading an article entitled "For Better, For Worse."  It's about keeping the romance alive in one's marriage after a baby is born.  Parenting magazines are often filled with this type of advice-giving, but one snippet in particular struck me.  "Chances are, having a baby won't bring you closer.  Luckily, you and your spouse can do that on your own.  How?  By turning new-baby challenges into opportunities to strengthen your marriage."

I think almost every parent would agree that parenting challenges a person in ways that nothing else can.  At least that's one thing I've found to be true in my own experience.  But blatantly stating that the odds are against you as far as having a strong marriage as a result of bringing a new life into the world?  Not only does this depict the child as a burden, but it also undermines the strength of the marriage before the baby's arrival.

Clearly there are differences in how a couple can spend their time together when they become parents - maybe they aren't able to go out on as many dates as they used to (though date nights in are a great runner-up), or perhaps the sleepless nights leave couples feeling at odds due to tiredness.  Parents might feel differently about child rearing, thus creating some amount of (often temporary) conflict.  But I would hope these situations do not define marriage but rather give a couple a new way of growing together, thus bringing them closer together than ever before.  The nine month gestational period gives some nice preparation time, and while no one can be prepared for every little thing, parents certainly can talk through the big discussion topics regarding their baby.

But then again, perhaps I'm in the minority on this.  It's supreme honor to share in parenting with Drake, and I firmly believe that our marriage is stronger because of our openness to life.  Through all the bed rest, hospital stays, NICU emotional rollercoaster, and throughout Thomas' first year, we've grown closer than ever before.  Our communication is more open and honest, we're more intentional about spending time as a couple, and our time management has improved drastically (though we still have a long way to go).  We're clear about our needs, our struggles, our joys...and we are able to witness daily the miracle of life before our eyes.  What on this earth could be better than that?