perspective

I read such an encouraging article today as I sat down to eat some lunch.  With a toddler napping and the little lady curled up in the Moby, I was searching for some encouragement in the midst of a busy, busy morning.

This morning went a little something like this: I started things off by sleeping right through my alarm.  That's seldom a good thing.  And, as fate would have it, everyone (myself included) woke up at the exact same time.  My dear husband hurried to jump in the shower and get out the door for the sometimes-dreaded Monday routine (out the door before 7am and not back home until 9pm).  Sweet Thomas awoke demanding milk, a diaper change ("change your diaper!"), and trucks (whodathunkit?).  Little Maria needed mommy milk and a diaper change as well, not to mention the cuddles she so freely gives and receives.  And all this, mind you, was happening in a two minute span.  I took about half a second to take a breath and then began to meet these needs.  When I walked into the kitchen, my glance was met by an overflow of dishes, pots, and pans that I was simply too tired and busy to do last night.  I then saw the mountain of shoes by the door, the crusted cheese on the table, and the toys scattered around the floor.  I realized I needed to wait to do my workout because I was behind on laundry (unless I wanted to work out in a skirt and wool sweater).  I felt so "behind," and I had been awake for a whopping five minutes.

And, as I sit here typing, the floor still has toys all over it.  The kitchen is still messy.  The laundry is nowhere near complete, and the shoes are still overtaking the doorway.  But, I know for myself that I've been working hard all morning.  I've nourished a baby several times over. I've changed at least five diapers.  I've got dinner in the crockpot.  I've made a number of necessary phone calls.  I've read books, played trucks, and completed puzzles with my almost-two year-old.  I've sung songs, kissed cheeks and bruises, done goofy dances, and even squeezed in a workout (and shower!).  Not too shabby for a morning, even if I don't have much to "show" for it.

It's so easy (for me at least) to only be judge my work in terms of product.  What an American I am - basing my worth on my utility!  Somehow it's all too often not enough that I know for myself how hard I was working.  Gosh darn it, I want other people to know it, too!  Silly, pervasive, relentless pride.  And then, that pride coupled with vanity, makes for a discouraged mother who overlooks her blessings completely and puts more stock in the way things look.

But what am I "looking" for exactly?  Do I really want a perfectly clean-everything in its place-spotless-tidied place to live?  Well, sometimes, yes.  But that is simply not a reality right now, and I would venture to guess that it's not a reality in any home housing children.

Check out some inspiration here.  The article says everything I wanted to say...only better.  And now I'm off to cuddle an infant.  Enjoy!